Today I want to share with you the last two days of my Vipassana Retreat I did in May.
In the morning meditation again feeling of dissolving, I no longer have arms. Gardening in the light rain after the morning session. I enjoy it until my hands get too cold. I take a warm shower before continuing with the meditation. The question of the I and individuality still bothers me. I am incredibly hungry and thirsty. In the meditation in the morning, besides the feeling of weightlessness and disappearing of body parts, a feeling of pure joy fulfills me, a deep contentment flows through me. I have the feeling of being breathed. After lunch I go again into the forest. It has been raining all morning and has now stopped. I think about my impressions. The pain in my back I perceive reduced during the mediation, it is as if it does not belong to me. Slowly I begin to understand what is meant by purusha, prakriti, citta vritti nirodah and om sat chit andanda. Is this what I felt as deep and pure inner contentment? In the afternoon session again feeling of floating, I have no arms anymore, again a feeling of deeper inner bliss flows through me. I feel a big smile on my face during the mediation. In the evening lecture I learn that what I experienced today is the beginning of the immersion level 2 of meditation.
The last day of my mediation retreat begins. In the morning meditation I am very tired. I do not get into the meditation well at all. Breakfast is still in silence, but afterwards the noble silence is lifted. One really notices how everyone wants to talk to each other. After breakfast I pack my things and clear my room. Since I still have time, I sit down in the courtyard and meet my table neighbor who has accompanied me throughout the week, we take a walk together and talk for the first time. It is a very interesting experience to get to know another person in this way. We have a very good conversation with each other and find many things in common. Finally, the morning meditation takes place and Alexander gives us tips for our own meditation practice. He recommends to meditate 30 minutes a day and to set up a fixed place to meditate. Also to read scriptures and reflect on them. Also an annual retreat, max. 2 times is recommended. We conclude the retreat with a metta meditation and lunch together. Silence is lifted and there is lively conversation. After lunch, the exchange continues outside over coffee before departure. I travel back to Würzburg by cab to the train station with one of the participants. It feels totally strange to be exposed to such a large crowd and volume in the main station.
I try to withdraw during the train ride and arrive slowly. I am very glad that I have another week of vacation to get back into the daily routine.
This meditation retreat should change my view on my life permanently. A few months later I feel ready and strong enough to take my life in my hands and initiate the first changes. This is also the reason why I wrote less blog posts the last weeks. I am currently in a transformational process. The retreat has certainly contributed to the fact that I now see my life from a completely different perspective.
This was my last post in this blog series. I hope my diary entries and impressions can help others to decide for or against such a meditation retreat.